Reflections by the Lake

A long long time ago, when I first starting blogging, I had hopes of  posting some cute crafts and maybe becoming one of those “trendy bloggers.” Now, I just want to journal; to remember what’s going on and write down my thoughts. I want it for me.

So, here we are, 500 miles from everything (and nearly everyone!) I’ve known for my 26 years of life. There are a lot of things I don’t enjoy about being here (keeping on the sunnyside people!) and lots of things I do! One is that I have no pressure here. Nowhere to be. No one to distract me or busy my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I love people and always will. But somehow all of it got me away from my deepest of loves. My first love. My only need in this world. Sweet sweet Jesus. I’ve missed Him. I’ve neglected Him. I’ve acted alive when really I am dead inside. With all my free time, I’ve had the opportunity to just be with Jesus, sipping coffee and looking at the lake. (And clean the house. every. single. day. Did I mention I loathe cleaning?)

I read through Revelation. Crazy stuff, huh? Anyway, I realized I was dead when I read what Christ said to the Church in Ephesus…

I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.
Remember from where you have fallen;
repent, and do the works you did at first.
If non, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place
unless you repent.
Revelation 2:4-5

Then He says this to the Church at Sardis…..
I know  your works.
You have the reputation of being alive,
but you are dead.
Wake up,
and strengthen what remains and is about to die,
for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God.
Revelation 3: 1&2

I come to this right before the season of Lent. I’ve done the “Lent thing” before… gave up facebook (hasn’t everyone at least once for Lent???) sugar (isn’t that a bit self seeking? It was for me.) I probably would have done soft drinks if I liked ’em! All the things Christians do… Not doing it this year. It would be for me. Not for Him. To make me feel like I was doing what a believer in Jesus Christ would do.

What I am doing is reading through the last days of Jesus here. And, reading through this journal from The Village Church in Texas. I suggest both. Not to mark something off your list. But to return to your first love. Or to meet Him, truly and genuinely, for the first time. And if you know Him, they will remind you why we really need Him so badly… that’s what Lent is about. Remembering our depravity and brokenness apart from Him. We must fully realize how badly we need the cross. Without the death caused by the weight of our sin, there is no resurrection. With no resurrection there is no defeat over death. Our sin is real. Our sin is destructive. Our sin is ugly.

I am waking up again to my sweet Jesus. May I (may we all) not sit idle.

Sums it up… Take a listen.

On a side note. PattyGram, Cliff made Benjamin laugh this morning. He will NOT do it for me, little stinker. He can’t wait to see you in a couple weeks. Maybe by then he’ll be laughing big time.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Kelli
    Feb 26, 2012 @ 23:35:14

    Allie, it’s so weird… This evening I have been feeling these same exact feelings. So much so, that it brought me to tears. My heart has been so lonesome for Jesus. And this whole night, while wondering why and how I let my love for Jesus die, you were on my mind. I remembered how much you used to be an influence for me when we worked at fin aid. And then I wrote on my blog, And just as I was about to close out of blogger, I noticed your post. And now, here I am. Thank you for writing this! It encourages me that I’m not the only one feeling this way. I know God sent me to your post. And that song… Awesome! Wish we could go sit between the shelves at fin aid and have a chat. Miss you and Love you!


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