Hello world!

Hello world! It’s me Allie!

I did it; I finally did it…I started a blog. Will I update said blog? That is yet to be seen, but I don’t think I did for anyone but me.

You see, I’m a social person and love being with people I love.  Lately I have felt so disconnected from those who I care about and those I thought cared about me. Maybe it comes with growing up; my dear Aunt Rhonda told me that once you get married you begin spending time with couple friends rather than individuals. Perhaps I have changed in a big way and don’t realize it, maybe they did. Either way, I need a way to get everything out there, a way to get reconnected.

I never thought I would be one to do something like this rather than being with people. There are too many people to be with. I can’t do it but I want to! I miss the flexibility of college. The schedule that had wide open spaces in the middle of the day. You go go go so much in college but have so much energy. Where did all of that go? I work until 4:30 and come home exhausted.

I am waiting, I wish I could say patiently, on the Lord to restore to me the joy of salvation. I know it will come; I know my God has not left me and yet I feel so alone sometimes. I don’t know how or why these feelings come. But I do know that contentment is not something I am or have ever been good at. I am always wanting more, something better. I am never satisfied with anything…my personality, the way I look, my marriage, my relationships with my friends, my job, my home.  I am realizing that these thoughts are straight from the devil, straight from my enemy.

Lord, continue to sustain me and grow me into your likeness. Teach me to hear your voice and weed out those that are not of You. Help me to love Your children in a way that makes you proud of me, daddy. I want to love you with all of my heart. Thank You, God, for giving me a husband who loves me inspite of how I treat him. Thank you for his desire to serve me and provide for our family. He shows me You love me.

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